Chapter 2 - The Rearview Mirror and Annapolis

Maya didn't turn north toward Pulaski Highway. She didn't even look at the interstate ramp that would take her back toward Baltimore’s industrial seafood corridor.
Instead, she hit the turn signal for Interstate 695 South, merged into the middle lane, and set her cruise control. In the rearview mirror, the tree-lined ridge of Ruxton faded into a haze of suburban sprawl and shimmer.
Her hands were shaking now. The adrenaline that had carried her through the kitchen—the icy, miraculous composure that had allowed her to pack up sixty pounds of provisions without shedding a tear—was beginning to wear thin, leaving behind a hollow, vibrating rage.
She drove with the windows down for the first ten miles, letting the hot, humid Maryland air whip her dark hair into tangles across her face. The scent of salt, Old Bay, and sweet vanilla from the passenger seat was thick and intoxicating in the enclosed cabin of the car.
*Twigs.*
She gripped the steering wheel until her knuckles turned ivory. She had spent three hours on Thursday night researching the best way to parboil the potatoes so they wouldn't turn to mush in the final steep. She had bought real sweet cream butter, not the vegetable oil spread Denise kept in her fridge for the sake of her waistline. She had done it all not because she loved Denise Caldwell—she was long past the delusion of ever earning that woman’s affection—but because she loved Colin.
Or, more accurately, because she had loved the man she thought Colin was when they were twenty-four, drinking cheap beer on the seawall at Canton, talking about the life they were going to build away from his family’s suffocating, decorative orbit.
*“Maybe just see what the difference costs, May?”*
The words played on an infinite, sickening loop in her head. Colin hadn't even looked at his mother when he said it. He had looked at the floor, like a scolded spaniel offering its belly to avoid a kick. He was thirty-four years old. He managed a commercial lending portfolio worth tens of millions of dollars, yet in his mother’s kitchen, he shrunk into a frightened boy whose only survival mechanism was throwing his wife into the path of the train.
At the interchange for Route 50, Maya didn't hesitate. She steered the car toward the Chesapeake Bay, pointing the hood toward Annapolis.
Her mother, Joanne, lived in a two-story cedar-shingled cottage on a narrow, oyster-shell lane near Spa Creek. It was the house Maya had grown up in—a place with warped pine floors, mismatched chintz slipcovers, screen doors that banged shut with a cheerful slap, and the perpetual, comforting scent of dried lavender, damp earth, and woodsmoke.
When Maya turned down the lane thirty-five minutes later, the difference between Ruxton and this little pocket of Annapolis was like stepping from a climate-controlled museum gallery into an overgrown garden.
Out in front of the white-painted picket fence, an ancient Ford F-150 with a rusted tailgate was parked half on the grass. Next to it was her Aunt Clara’s battered Subaru Outback. In the driveway of the house next door, Mr. Wallace—an eighty-one-year-old retired shipwright whose hands were as gnarled and tough as driftwood—was sitting in a webbed aluminum lawn chair under the shade of a massive silver maple, holding a glass of iced tea while three men worked on his front porch.
Maya cut her engine.
Her mother, Joanne, was on her knees in the flower bed beside the porch, wearing a pair of faded denim overalls, a straw gardening hat with a torn brim, and canvas gloves caked in dark leaf mold. She looked up at the sound of the car door closing.
Joanne stood, wiping her forearm across her forehead, leaving a smudge of topsoil above her left eyebrow. She squinted through the bright afternoon glare.
“Maya?” Joanne called, dropping her trowel into a five-gallon bucket. “What on earth are you doing here? I thought you were up in the high country feeding the royal family today.”
Maya stood beside the open trunk. The heat, the drive, and the sheer absurdity of the last hour suddenly broke over her, not in tears, but in a sudden, helpless burst of laughter that bordered on hysterical.
“The royal family didn't like the menu,” Maya said, her voice cracking slightly.
Joanne walked over, her sharp, perceptive blue eyes taking in Maya’s flushed cheeks, the stiff set of her shoulders, and then the open cargo bay. Her gaze swept over the two massive coolers, the sixty-quart stockpot, the propane burner, and the pie boxes on the passenger seat.
Joanne slowly peeled off her gardening gloves. “Why do you have enough food for an army in the back of your car, Maya Lynn?”
Maya leaned against the rear quarter panel, crossed her arms, and told her. She didn't embellish. She didn't raise her voice. She told the story with the flat, unvarnished precision of an archivist reading a historical record: the two-hundred-and-eighty-six dollars; Sal’s prime clusters; Mallory’s two-finger lift; Denise’s *twigs*; and Colin’s quiet, devastating surrender.
As Maya spoke, Joanne’s posture shifted. The easygoing, soil-stained gardener vanished, replaced by the woman who had raised two daughters alone after Maya’s father died on a coast guard cutter when Maya was twelve. Joanne’s jaw set like granite. Her mouth narrowed to a thin, dangerous line.
When Maya finished with Colin’s line—*“You know what Mom meant”*—Joanne didn't curse. She didn't rant. She simply stepped forward, took her daughter’s face in her warm, rough hands, and kissed her forehead.
“That boy has water in his veins,” Joanne said softly. “His father was the same way before the gin finally took the edge off him. It’s a family disease, Maya. The cowardice.”
Joanne turned around and looked toward Mr. Wallace’s yard.
Up on the porch roof, Maya’s cousin Liam and two of the neighborhood boys were wrestling with a ten-foot section of rotted fascia board, their shirts soaked through with sweat. Down on the lawn, Aunt Clara was organizing a collection of mismatched cordless drill batteries on a folding table, while Mr. Wallace offered commentary through a mouthful of butterscotch candy.
Joanne looked back into the cooler. She lifted the lid, pulled back the butcher paper, and let out a low whistle at the sight of the frosted, scarlet crab clusters.
“Aunt Clara and the boys have been out there since eight this morning,” Joanne said, a slow, radiant smile beginning to spread across her sun-lined face. “Mr. Wallace tried to pay them with a ten-dollar roll of quarters and three cans of sardines. Think they’re hungry?”
Maya looked at the coolers. Then she looked at the men sweating under the Annapolis sun, working on an old man’s porch for nothing more than neighborly decency and a glass of sweet tea.
The knot that had been sitting in her chest since she walked into Denise Caldwell’s kitchen suddenly dissolved into something warm, fierce, and alive.
May you like
“Mom,” Maya said, reaching into the backseat for the propane burner, “get the garden hose. We’re going to need forty quarts of water.”
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